How to Love Yourself

Have you stopped to think what it means to love yourself? Learning to love yourself is a common theme in the self-help arena right now along with the concept that you're perfect just as you are. However, in my newsletters I have not held back sharing some of my own self-perceived faults along with the steps I have taken to overcome them, and for this I have been criticized. "If you just learned to love yourself then you would have nothing to fix. You are already perfect," was one of the comments I received.

I have to tell you that I see loving myself differently. We are all perfect in our imperfectness—that is what makes life the fabulous ride that it is. We win, we lose, we rise up again. We have the ability to choose, to create and to change our minds. All of this is perfection, but in a different way than how some would see it.

The Gift

This is how I see loving myself. We were born with the perfect potential to create our best life possible. Within each of us is a spark of the Divine, but it is up to us to express that spark to the best of our ability. One of my favorite quotes goes like this: "All that I am is a gift from God. All that I do with that gift is the only way I can repay the Giver."

I am not not-loving myself when I discover I have a tendency to want to 'get-even' when I perceive I am being criticized unfairly, and I then choose to correct this character flaw. If anything I am being my own number one cheerleader: "Ravinder, you can do better than that. I believe in you. I believe you can achieve the goals you set for yourself. You are fully capable of reaching for and achieving ever greater heights in your pursuit of exploring the boundaries of what you think is possible," etc.

Choosing Me

I do not have to simply accept who I am for I have the power to create the person I want to be. I was brought up in a very controlling household, as was Eldon, yet we were determined not to create that kind of environment for our children. In fact, Eldon created the InnerTalk DVD, Successful Children/Family Dynamics for just this purpose. We both believe that children do best when brought up in a positive supportive environment and so we both worked at creating this, and were never afraid to use InnerTalk programs such as Releasing Anger, Patience and Positive Parenting whenever we felt the need for a little personal support.

Throughout our lives we have choices—we can choose what to accept and what to change. Sometimes I can find myself getting worked up and uptight, but I don't just accept that that is the way I am. Accepting my flaws is not loving myself, instead choosing to correct these flaws is the ultimate way that I can love and honor myself! My perfection shows itself when I work at discovering the problem and solving it. And if the problem is just that something has triggered an old behavior pattern/response, then I work to neutralize it. We have all experienced pain and disappointment in the past but there is no reason to allow this to influence our future. Over the years there have been many times when I have pulled out my Esteem or Freedom from Fears program, just to help me get over that hump, and Healing Emotional Pain was created specifically for me.

Refuse to Grow Old

We have all been told that our bio-chemistry changes as we get older, so we can be prone to put on some extra pounds, slow down, find our cognitive skills deteriorating, etc. But quite frankly I love myself too much to let myself go down that path without putting up a fight! When I was young I could eat all the chocolate I wanted without gaining a fraction of an ounce. Today, I only have to look at it to see the weight coming on. Was I perfect then, or am I perfect now? Quite frankly it is perfectly okay to use Weight Loss Now to overcome this.

Perfection to me comes in the choices I have. That old pattern of aging just does not suit me so I will do things differently. I may not go to school, but I do go out of my way to learn new things (guitar, piano, foreign languages, writing skills, etc.) Doing this, in conjunction with using InnerTalk programs like Powerful Memory and Enhancing Cognitive Abilities, will make sure my brain-power does not slow down. I choose to control any physical issues by keeping active (running, biking, and hiking) and when I need some extra support, I will use Joy of Exercise to keep myself on track.

Never Too Late

Many people start to think about retirement when they reach 50, but that is not my choice. Instead, I look at all of those people who made their biggest contributions in their later years:

• U.S. swimmer Diana Nyad was 64 when she became the the first person to swim from Cuba to Florida without the help of a shark cage;
• Chef Julia Child did not star on her famous television show until she was in her 50s;
• Peter Mark Roget published the Roget's Thesaurus that made him a household name when he was 73;
• Anna Mary Robertson Moses, better known as Grandma Moses, started painting when she was 75 and ended up becoming one of the most famous Americans;
• Louise Hay was in her 50s when she started Hay House; and
• Faujah Singh started running seriously when he was 89, and went on to become the first centenarian to run a marathon.

That is what aging looks like to me. Forever Young is the program I use regularly to make sure I don't slip into 'old person thinking habits' and then I will use any InnerTalk program that supports any specific goal I have at any time.

My choices are a part and parcel of my perfect self. I choose to honor the perfect divine spark within me by nurturing it and allowing it to flourish. I constantly look at myself and wonder if I can do better. This to me is what 'loving myself' really means. As Eldon often says, "How high is up?" What do you think?

Wishing you love, light and laughter, always,

Ravinder Taylor